Trentasaurus Rex... alot

Yesterday morning Jesse, Clay and I went to Montgomery's Toys'R'Us for the national pokemon event. We arrived about 13 minutes before the store's opening (We were in front of the line for a while, but then some black dudes trying to return their Madden game broke in front of us. We were too busy admiring the Yu-Gi-Oh line to notice much.), and we were very polite and patient, but APPARENTLY Montgomery isn't PART OF THIS NATION, because they didn't give us ANYTHING. No POSTERS, no POKEMON CARDS, and no RARE POKEMON. Eventually, we called the columbus Toys'R'Us... I was on the phone for about thirty minutes before I was told that nothing rare was being offered and that Montgomery sucks and that I'd wasted my morning. But I didn't really waste my morning. I had a great time. As we sat in the Transformer aisle, a woman on a cell phone told the reciever that a bunch of suspicious teenagers were LOITERING in the store. She said this RIGHT IN FRONT OF US. DO YOU HEAR ME? AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR? Well, we could hear her. I offered to move, but she ignored me and continued bitching. She was a bitch. However, there were other characters in this story as well... There was the Yu-Gi-Oh champion... All of the other children quivered in fear when his mom dropped him off in front of the store. And rightly so, for he was a very opposing figure. Dressed in a baseball uniform and armed with a steel card chest, he was always the first to arrive for league battling. (Although he denied this vehemently.)
We also met the Yu-Gi-Oh coaching staff. This duo was very kind; despite the fact that she had nothing to offer us, the woman explained that she was the pokemon representative and that no one had told her about this particular event. She patiently helped the children read their Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Underneath that robust posterior was a heart of gold, to be sure. Her male comrade was less talkative, but he did offer us a place at the end of the table where we could trade and battle pokemon amongst ourselves. However, we declined.
We met the Krispy Kreme frozen blend, which tasted like a synthetic Egg Nog-flavored terrible. Lotsofco had warned us, but we had to try it. Damn. Jesse and I finished ours; Clay poured his on the blazing concrete. I'll have pictures soon.
We met Optimus Prime.
We almost met the legendary Arcanine.
But, most importantly, we met each other.

-In a fight I'd waste all ya bums
I got mo' rhymes than a monkey's got thumbs-

I went back to Montgomery that day, but that's a story for another day. Like tomorrow. When I don't have an anatomy article to write. And a duct tape suit to fashion. See you tomorrow!

Vote Wallace Shawn for president, homeboyz... and homegirlz.

P.S. I AM GETTING A FULL-SIZE ADMIRAL ACKBAR CARDBOARD CUTOUT BECAUSE I HAVE THE BEST GIRLFRIEND IN THE WORLD

ALL CAPS ROCK MY LIFE

http://cube.ign.com/articles/544/544508p1.html

my thoughts tomorrow.

George W. Bush does not own the letter 'W'.

I interpret those little black stickers to mean "Vote Treat Williams For President." and so should you.

I'd win. But how? Submit your ideas, please!

That's all!

Those who practice magic arts... their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. (Revelation 21:8)

Yikes! Keane's art is magical! That means that Keane's in trouble!

*Of course Keane really isn't in trouble. Everyone knows that Keane is a higher life form and could easily stand up to God and Vishnu and George W. Bush and everyone else. So booyah.

So the other day I was elected into the position of Assembly Manager (Ass Man) of my Journalism class. It went down something like this: I brought some mexican soda (3/$2.00) and some homemade cookies, and my opponent, the esteemed Philip E. Ruth, didn't bring anything. Plus, my speech was way better. Safety Dance Part II, dawgs. So I think Philip was going to cry, and that made me feel really bad. I told him he could be Assistant Assembly Manager (Ass Ass Man) but that doesn't make any sense. Anyways, he ended up getting 40 percent of the votes. But I'm still awesome.
Little Caesar's is offering large pizzas ready to go at the awesome price of five bucks. I strongly suggest that everyone takes advantage of this deal while it lasts. If you don't like pizza because you're lame like Vance, go anyways, because Brandon Webb works there. I'll probably bring pizzas to the next film club meeting... So... vote for me, Film Club VP.

Well, last night's remarks were slightly irate. I'd like to say first and foremost that I love Jesus. I mean, who doesn't? He's a crazy hippy magician. The question is, why is he so popular? I thought people hated magicians and hippies. Anyways, I'm a little disappointed with God... The soul-crushing is a little too much for me to handle. Anyways, forget God. Jesus is numero uno in my book. Actually, they might be the same person. I have no idea.

http://www.layhands.com/WillSinnersBurnForever.htm

Damn, God is lame. I mean, I knew he hated gay people and blacks... but magicians, too?
Those who practice magic arts... their place will be in the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death. (Revelation 21:8)

I mean, I've heard people talking about this before, but I had no idea it was actually in the Bible. I mean, I'll probably never read that book... But damn. Wasn't Jesus a magician?

The molecules that made up our bodies continue to exist, and in fact our bodies will be re-formed when we are resurrected at the Rapture (see 1 Corinthians 15:51-53). I love Jesus chemistry. The molecules will be brought back at the Rapture. I was wondering about that.

I mean, who does God think he is? He can't just totally annihilate me in a lake of fire. God thinks that he can do whatever he wants just because he's God. Well... Wait a second... Why do I think these lame ass evangelists know who God is? God's probably some sort of flying half-fungus, half-animal creature from the cretaceous period. Obviously.

God's ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). I'm not even going to read anymore of this garbage. "God is perfect and His decisions are perfect." Yeah, sure. I'll believe that when I get my freaking cheesecake.

Okay, so everyone makes blogs and then puts links to news articles and stuff on them... Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring. I can personally guarantee that all links on my blog will be really stupid and they probably won't work.* Also, everything else I say will be really audacious. Or bodacious.

*I might use some links that work in order to make audacious statements.*

And now, a joke:
Q: How do you get a bunch of black guys to stop raping a white girl?
A: Toss them a basketball!